Read it in parts, or settle down with a cuppa for a bit.
DAY ONE (9/12/2011)
Okay 6am…why is Karan awake? Okay. He needs to use the toilet. I wonder if I can go back to sleep after this? I dozed off for a bit but my grandmother called a few times so we had to wake up. Karan is disoriented by this point. He looked confused about being in my room, for one. Then spent the rest of the day walking in and out of Mom’s room, trying to find her. He still hasn’t got the hang of grabbing the iPad to show me what he wants so when I gave it to him, he quickly navigated his way to the Grace app and selected Mom’s face. I couldn’t bring her back from Bombay in a minute, so we settled for Skype and a phone call. He just got more annoyed. I’ve lost count of how many times he’s left to look for her in all the rooms of the house and has come back to where I am, looking utterly disappointed. He’s still got a bit of a cold, leaving him slightly tired.
DAY TWO (10/12/2011)
Karan’s still looking for Mom. Going to her room, sitting on her bed, waiting for her to appear. He refuses to talk to her on the phone or Skype. He’s angry, that’s for sure. I cook today…scary! I watch nervously as Karan bites into my chicken curry. What if he turns up his nose at it because it doesn’t taste like Mom’s? But he eats and seems to like it. Whew. But this is insane…I look at all the dishes piling up and how much I’ve to clean and it seems insurmontable. Why are there so many dishes?! Why does my father not help clean up?! Oh wait, he never does. But…I now see how much work there is in the house. I’ve even put the dishwasher to work and empty it at the end of the day. I’m pooped by the end of the day and just want to sleep!
DAY THREE (11/12/2011)
Karan wakes up again around 6am. I can’t handle it…I go back to sleep and he walks up and down the room as I probably snore my way through for a few more hours. Today I don’t cook; there is enough left over from yesterday. I do walk downstairs to piled up dishes…what a surprise…my father hasn’t done anything. Again. I clean up behind him and after Karan’s dishes, go out to the garden to pluck some tulsi leaves to make a homemade cough remedy. But then I have to put the clothes in the washing machine. For this I’d written down instructions on how to use it (yeah I know…I knew how to use the washing machines in Sheffield and London but those seemed far simpler!) and followed them to the T, hoping nothing funny would happen to the clothes. But everything seemed to go well. The clothes were clean at the end of it, which is great. Karan has stopped waiting in Mom’s room but he still asks for her on the iPad. Uh oh…I’ve started coughing. I hope I don’t fall sick…when I’m sick, I’m pretty much useless.
THE NEXT 10 DAYS
I give up trying to write every day. I’m just so knackered all the time! I told a friend I didn’t mind tweeting because outbursts in 140-characters only seemed much less of a task than actually doing any work. I did fall sick…Karan essentially passed on his cold to me.
He eventually stopped looking for her constantly. Although he did occassionally ask for her by navigating to her picture on the iPad. Then there was the massive meltdown night.
To be continued in next post…where instead of days I write down incidents that I want to share.
Autism & I 